finewithhalf | ic inbox ;;

Because that's how it is. You want Maya Hart? That's her. She's just some broken kid who comes from a broken life and couldn't spot a healthy relationship if there was one standing close enough to spit on her.

I don't get to have happy endings, Kanji. I accepted that a long time ago.

What's stoppin' you from changing?

[This is no longer just about whether or not she likes him, too. It's bigger than that, because what she's talking about? It applies to a hell of a lot more than just him.]

You don't gotta stand still. Yeah, if you keep tellin' yourself nothin' good is ever gonna happen, then maybe it won't. If you're that sure of it, of course it ain't gonna turn out differently, 'cause you're not gonna let it. But if you already know that's what you do, how you treat people?

[His frown pulls a little deeper, brow furrowed as he reaches out and puts one hand on her shoulder, tentative.]

Knowin' that is the first step to doing something about it. And you don't gotta do it alone. You should know that, bet Riley's told you the same thing. You got friends to help point you in the right direction when you need it. That's what Souji-senpai does for me. Keeps me from breakin' everything I touch.

[She looks at the hand on her shoulder, but doesn't move to push it away. It can stay there, for now.]

And what happens when I mess up and hurt you?

[There's no "if" about it, self-awareness or not.]

[He considers that for a moment, then shrugs.]

Then we talk about it. I mess up all the time. Doesn't mean I just stop tryin' to be who I wanna be. When that happens, you try again. The people who matter will understand and forgive you.

[He smiles again, finally. It's small and lopsided, but it's there.]

I'm pretty tough. But so are you. And you know, you're not the only one who might mess things up. Not like I know what I'm doing. If I do somethin' dumb, you gotta tell me so I can make it right. I'd do the same for you.

[She stays still then, watching his hand and the subtle movements of his fingertips to avoid looking at his face.]

If Riley likes you too, you go with her, understand? She'll treat you better.

[And they can't have another triangle. There's no way.]

[That doesn't even register for a moment, and he has to really think about it to get what she means.

If Riley--?]

What are you talkin' about? Riley an' I are friends, but it's different.

[In a lot of ways, the two of them are actually a lot alike, even if Kanji is much more rough around the edges. They both care more about people than they know how to handle sometimes.]

I-- I like you.

[He thought that part was pretty clear.]

There's this guy, where we're from. He's a lot like you in a lot of ways... Big, and nice. And kind of tough but trying to get better. And I liked him. ....But Riley liked him too. So I made sure Riley had him. But then he liked us both, and. It doesn't work. I'm not good at sharing.

Or dating.

Or a bunch of other stuff.

[And he just finished saying that he likes her. But she doesn't dare trust that it's true. How could anyone pick her when Riley's right there? Riley's perfect. Riley's important and precious.]

I'm not good at any of that, either. Never even been on a date, really.

[Or even managed to hold hands. Teaching Naoto to ski was the closest he'd come to any of that, but catching her when she fell wasn't the same as consciously reaching out. He hadn't been ready yet-- any they were both shy.

"Shy" probably isn't even in Maya's vocabulary.]

An' maybe I'm kinda like that guy, but I'm not him. I'm me. And I like Riley a lot, but she's my friend. It's not gonna be the same as it was that time.

I guess we can try.

If you want to.

[She doesn't move to adjust their positions, though. There's still physical distance between them, which she isn't about to attempt closing on her own.]

No hard feelings when you change your mind.

[He's not sure if he should take his hand back, or if he should move closer. His lack of experience means that 'trying' is going to be a lot of trial and error. Was it like that for everyone?]

I ain't gonna change it.

[He does let his hand drop away, but he looks down at his feet as he shuffles a nervous half-step forward, his face starting to flush again.]

I dunno how to do any of this. But I wanna figure it out with you.

[As he pulls his hand away, she catches it, pressing her palm against his and threading their fingers together.]

You start with this. And then feel it out from there.

[His eyes widen slightly, surprised, but he lets their fingers entwine a little more tightly, allowing himself to be comfortable with it.

He can do this.]

That's not so hard.

[They got this.]

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