[He struggles to grasp the meaning of all that. Part of him feels like he can relate, because he'd spent years pushing people away that he would have liked otherwise, even just as friends. It was easier to make them believe he was awful and somebody they shouldn't get close to than to let someone in and give them the chance to hurt him for real.

At least if they ran away because they thought he was a jerk, the sting of it faded pretty quickly over time. When he let people in and they left because of who he actually was? That never got easier, so he'd stopped letting it happen.

He frowns as he tries to apply that same logic to this situation, shaking his head.]

Why d'you think that's how things are gonna go? You've got a choice when it comes to how you treat people.

[And maybe it doesn't feel that way. It never does, when you're scared. It's so much easier to tell yourself that this is just the way things are, pretend you have no control over it.]

I mean, I know I ain't exactly a prize, but if you like someone, what makes you think you're gonna be bad to 'em?